Learning to Listen

It has taken a long time to respond to Josie’s question: What would change in your classroom if you challenged yourself to listen more closely to those strong voices of the adults and children around you?

I didn’t get it.  I also think that I didn’t want to listen.  Or maybe I only wanted to listen to voices that echoed my own ideas and sentiments.  This was harder than I thought and has taken me many months to process.  I wanted to listen to the voices cheering me on, not questioning my viewpoint. 

So it’s a new year and I decided to write at my monthly writing retreat, but I found myself distracted and listening to another writer.  She bounced in with a warm and welcoming smile and a beautiful baby bump leading her way.  She shared how she struggled to have her first son and is now pregnant with her second baby.  And the lady across the table shared how her daughter was struggling with infertility. 

The incredible part of this story is that this pregnant writer’s purpose was to publish a blog on her experiences and help others.  She wanted to make something positive come from her struggles, to be someone else’s guide and cheerleader.  How lucky I was to be a part of this discussion.

And so I went back to teaching on Monday with the sole task of listening to my colleagues and students, for stories of courage and triumph.  But instead, I encountered a child’s story of shame.  I entered his classroom, as usual, with the intention of being a reading resource for the students.  The class activity was to compare an early and a later piece of nonfiction writing.  A rubric was provided to help the students with this process.  As I glanced at this students’ paper, I saw one word repeated over and over in each box.  The word was, ‘horrible.’  He covered it, so I asked him what he was working on.  He gave me short answers and I heard him silently saying, “Leave me, alone.”  So I gave him space and I gave him time.  But this is another piece of building evidence of an up and down cycle of this student’s engagement and self-confidence as a reader and writer.   I am his reading teacher who is supposed to support him in his classroom, but I often get this silent dismissal.  I did tell him that I was learning a lot from him and he made an emphatically shocked facial expression and asked what.  I shared that I am learning about humorous books and graphic novels, but my answer seemed to fall short.

So how does this relate to collaboration?  I need your collaboration. How can we change his story to one of triumph?  I have to admit that I am stumped and concerned.  I will be listening to any wisdom, Josie and our readers can offer.

                    

And here is a reminder about the basics of working together.  I found this children’s book, Let’s Work Together, on the online book website Big Universe.  It is also available in print.  Here’s what it recommends after finding a project to work on together.

1. Listen to the other person’s ideas.
2. Take turns talking and listening.
3.  Share your tools, such as glue or paint, with everyone in the group.

The book finishes with these words of wisdom, “Most importantly, be patient, kind, and respectful towards your teammates.”  It’s your turn.  What tools can you share?  How can we show patience, kindness, and respect with these tools?